How many million times have i asked myself that stupid question "WHY ME??" and i think i usually either never managed to work out an answer or just decided that i deserve it!!! But, as my friends keep telling me, i don't deserve it and neither do you! I would never wish any of what i'm going through on anyone because it's horrible. But for the people like me who have to go through it, firstly i think you are amazing because i know how hard it is and to be where you are, still alive and kicking is a huge achivement! Secondly IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!! - yeah i know i don't belive that either! but it's not and u gotta keep reminding yourself of that because you are lovely people and basically..Shit happens! - More logiccally tho, here are some of the reasons WHY shit happens:-

Medically, depression is said to caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Which means that you are always upset and pissed off at the world etc. but there is nothing you can do about it, because it is just the way your brain works, and not really anything to do with you as a person.

Depression is what I was diagnosed with, and I think for a while that I did have it, but even after I was put on pills, All the negative stuff was still there, and that is not because of the imbalance in my brain chemicals but because of all the shit that has happened to me. I mean how is anyone expected to remail happy when they have an abusive boyfriend, their best friend wishes they were dead and they have lost 3 friends to suicide? i would have been upset about those things regardless of the depression.

Ok, here is a little test that i got off a website, which may help to determine whether u have depression or not.

* Feeling tired all the time and having no energy

*Having difficulty sleeping, or waking early in the morning

* Losing interest in normal hobbies, activities and everyday life

* Having eating problems

* Losing interst in sex

* finding it hard to concentrate or think straight

* Feeling restless

* being irritable and getting annoyed at people more than usual

* Losing self-confidence

* Feeling useless or worthless

* Feeling guilty about who you are or what you've done

* Feeling hopeless - like nothing will make things better

* Thinking about suicide

OK, if some or all of the statements above sound like you (and we're talking about feeling like this for a while not just a couple of days) then you are 1/2 way there! all you need now is to go out and get the help you need. So, there are loadsa ways you can do this.....